How to Write an Obituary

What Is an Obituary?

An obituary is a written notice that announces someone's death and shares the story of their life. It typically appears in newspapers, funeral home websites, or memorial platforms like Candela.

It's important to understand what an obituary is not. A death notice is a brief, factual announcement: name, age, date of death, and service details. A eulogy is a speech given at a funeral. An obituary sits between the two: factual enough to inform, personal enough to honor.

The best obituaries do more than list accomplishments. They capture the person's character through specific details: the way they laughed, the traditions they kept, the small kindnesses that defined them.

What to Include in an Obituary

Every obituary is different, but most include these elements:

• Full name (including maiden name or nickname, if applicable)
• Age at the time of death
• Date and place of death
• Date and place of birth
• City of residence
• Education and career
• Hobbies, passions, and personality traits
• Surviving family members
• Preceded in death by (deceased family members)
• Service details (date, time, location)
• Memorial donations (if applicable)

You don't need to include everything. A short, sincere obituary is always better than a long, generic one. Focus on the details that would make someone who never met this person feel like they missed out.

Obituary Structure

Most obituaries follow a natural flow. You don't have to follow this exactly, but it provides a solid starting point:

The Opening

Start with the full name, age, place of residence, and date of death. You can include how they passed ("peacefully at home," "surrounded by family") if the family is comfortable sharing.

The Life Story

Share where they were born, where they grew up, and the highlights of their life. This is where the obituary becomes personal. Instead of "She was a wonderful mother," try "She drove the carpool every morning for twelve years and never once complained about the noise."

Survivors and Service

List surviving family members, typically starting with spouse, then children (with spouses), grandchildren, and siblings. End with service details: date, time, location, and any requests for donations in lieu of flowers.

Tone and Style Tips

There is no single "correct" tone for an obituary. The right tone is the one that sounds like the person being remembered. Here are some guidelines:

• Write in third person. "Margaret loved gardening" rather than "I remember Mom's garden."
• Be specific. "He made the best chili in three counties" says more than "He was a great cook."
• It's okay to be warm. Obituaries don't have to sound like legal documents. A gentle touch of humor or tenderness is welcome.
• Read it aloud. If something sounds stiff or unnatural, it probably is. Revise until it flows.
• Keep paragraphs short. Obituaries are often read quickly, on a phone, or while emotional. Short paragraphs are easier to absorb.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

• Listing accomplishments without personality. Degrees, titles, and awards matter, but they don't tell someone who this person was.
• Being too vague. "She was loved by all" could describe anyone. What specifically made her lovable?
• Forgetting to proofread. Double-check names, dates, and spelling. An error in an obituary is permanent.
• Rushing. You don't have to write it in one sitting. Take breaks. Come back to it with fresh eyes.
• Trying to please everyone. You can't capture an entire life in 500 words. Focus on the details that feel most true.

How Long Should an Obituary Be?

Most obituaries are between 200 and 500 words. Newspaper obituaries tend to be shorter (200 to 300 words) due to space and cost constraints. Online obituaries can be longer, which allows more room for storytelling.

A good rule of thumb: if you can read the obituary aloud in two to three minutes, the length is right. If it takes much longer, consider trimming. The goal is to honor the person, not to catalogue every detail of their life.

Frequently Asked Questions